Two chapters of The Eclipse
This story actually predates Rememory
in which I had spontaneously started writing it after being disappointed in the treatment of the death of Jean Grey in X2. This was immediately after the death of Gabriel Brathwaite, my somewhat father-in-law in January of 2004. My time of taking care of him as he was going actually brought back a lot of old internal stuff of how my father was wasting away ultimately passing away when I was twelve. Experiencing death at such an age is one thing. Experiencing almost the same type of death years later through almost the same representative vessel was another. It was a weird time.
Anyhoos, I had posted the first chapter and wrote the choreography of the rest and then put it aside for a moment. Now it's dusted off and is actually taking an interesting life of its own. The second chapter is actually virtually untouched, which is evident if you notice a couple of stylistic errors near the end. Ultimately, two more chapters (perhaps three depending on the length of the next chapter) will finally put this story to rest.RoLo Realm
Side note: Reading them now, I see that I've done something in two and three that plays with one's relationship with their senses and memory. That was unintentional. I suppose, when one is mourning and/or regretting, one is hyper aware of so much, and that awareness usually surrounds one's deep thinking. Or maybe it was just me. Hindsight.
Sider Noter: It actually was snowing today within this April. Of course I had to then turn on the Prince. Of course.
Okay. So I had to submit something to be workshopped next week. Since I didn't write a new short story, I had to work with what I have written before. Yup. That means this geeky assed fanfiction I've been posting here.
Now, originally, since I kind of like the flow of Part Three of Rememory, I was going to go with that. But once I got into the whole changing the characters' names and trying to rework some context and also trying to weed out the fantastical mutant thing, it just got far more complicated than it needed to be. And also I had a size requirement I had to keep t he submission under. Again: 12.5 Courier New, double-spaced and under 12 pages. This is impossible for me it seems.
I ended up taking the scenes between the lovers in Parts One and Two, editing out the scenes in the ethereal world, a couple of minor/major edits and Voila! An attempt at a coherant piece. Looking at it again, one could argue that it does have a beginning middle and an end thus making it a standalone piece - perhaps.
I did have to make some edits. I do see that I have a problem with dialogue and choreography in a scene. After many moons away from this piece, with fresh eyes, I could see the "Romance Genre Novel" criticisms that penpusher had cited in one of his comments previously. I cringe at declarations of love and emoting. Makes me quesy and I don't consider it as part of normal discourse. And if it was, then it would be one of those pathetic type of conversations that, again, make me cringe. SO I toned it down some. I'm definitely from the school of thought that "less is more".
Cut and paste and named it "Snapshots" which is basically reflects what the concept behind the initial composition was. I mean, how do you remember? You rarely remember whole entire scenes. You remember just seconds within a certain time frame: You sitting with him on the couch playing video games. His laughing until milk came out of his nose. Little moments.
So here it is, the submission. Would love some feedback as to how the story changes from previous to its current reincarnation. Is it a standalone?
Once I get feedback from the class next week, I will post.( Short Story: SnapshotsCollapse )
Oh Yes I Did!
As referenced in this post
I have started attending a Gotham Writing Workshop Class
. The instructor's name is Matt De La Pena
, the class is good, all that good stuff.
On top of the previous two fan-related genre stories I have yet to finish, I will be posting to this journal submissions and exercises created for this class. Since, so far, my submissions is just my reworking previously written works, I will also document my process so that we can have our own little online workshop here. Yes, get excitable!
So there you go. nemb_wip
spam forthcoming. Yes, excitable! :)
“Please be careful, don’t let your heart and mind stay at war. All the things that cause you pain, well it seems they all were knocking at your door.” – Carl Thomas, “Rebound”
Warning: Contains violence, strong language and strong racial overtones.
Summary: The Bastard. The Beloved. The fucking Betrayal.
Where we are: Logan is being visited by a woman from his past. She wants to talk of the present, he pressures her to discuss their shared history together. And she does so, showing him the good times and the bad. The bad times revolve around his clandestine trips, leaving her for weeks at a time. During one mission, he has seen more than his share. Severely wounded, he decided no more missions and he races back to New York to start his new life with the woman he loves.
Movieverse, Ro/Lo, post X2.
( Rememory, part fourCollapse )
"Then B-I said, Hov remind yourself: nobody built like you, you design yourself. I agree, I said, my one of a kind self get stoned everyday like Jesus did. Well he said, I said- has been said before, just keep doing your thing, he said. Say no more. …was it all a dream?" – Jay-Z, "A Dream", Blueprint 2..
Warning: Contains extremely graphic violence, imagery and strong language.
Acknowledgements: To my Yorkshire chum, the voice that Echoes against the sunset, and my Stormy friend who whispers to trees. Your support and encouragement makes the creativity continue, for this I thank you. Double blessings to Ms. 'Ko - for the focus and the deadline to set me back on track.
Summary: She is turning to speak to him. His breath deepens in anticipation. But all he hears are those words that have haunted him since she spoke them and lost the ignorance of their meaning. "Nilikudhani dhahabu kumbe adhabu." Ro/Lo, Movieverse, Post X2.
( Rememory, part threeCollapse )
"I hope that you're the one. If not, you are the prototype." – Outkast
Summary: Her cerulean eyes creases and sparkles roguishly as the tip of her tongue and her upper teeth flirt with her lower lip, trying to contain a laugh that he induced. She chuckles at his crude mischievousness. Few in the mansion do. He smiles deep at the memory. "Then you know I never left you alone." Ro/Lo, Post X2.
( Rememory, part twoCollapse )
Aspirat primo Fortuna labori – Fortune smiles upon our first effort (Virgil)
Continuity: Movieverse. Post-X2, years after. References to moments from comicverse canon. Movieverse allows for these liberties. I thank them for that.
Rating: Contains angst, off-color language, racial undertones, mild sexual references, violence. But then again, that's life.
Acknowledgements: Thank you to Syrinx for the spark of inspiration when, during a mundane moment – ironing my shirt for work – a line from one of her pieces, "Why am I always here?" flashed in my mind thus torturing me the entire ride in the subway while Bjork wailed in my ear. (ref: "Tangled")
And a reverent thank you to Toni Morrison for the poetic word and concept of "rememory". (ref: Beloved)
Dedication: To my parents. Born worlds apart, their time together too fleeting. I am still trying to define "meant to be".
( Rememory, part one (split for size)Collapse )